The Google assistant has an almost endless repertoire of short jokes at her disposal. Some are really funny! Want to know the best?
1. What is the similarity between dogs and gold?
It has a few carats.
2. What is the city where drunks get wet when it rains?
Bar-without-canvas.
3. Do you know why there is a trampoline at the North Pole?
For the polar bear.
4. Which fruit is friends with all the others?
The grape-part.
5. Which pasta makes you lose weight?
The SPA still.
6. What is the musicians' favorite sport?
Discus throw.
7. What is the most certain place in Brazil?
hinterland.
8. What did the mouse say when he saw the bat?
Angels exist.
9. Do you know why you should never give up on your dreams?
Because if there isn't one at the nearest bakery, it might be at the other one.
10. What is the end of the sting?
when the mosquito goes away.
11. What happens when you cross a giraffe and a parrot?
A loudspeaker.
12. Do you know what happens when two thieves jump into the water at the same time?
A crime spree.
13. What did one glass say to the other?
I'm glued to you.
14. What is the juice car?
Mustang.
15. Which state in Brazil would you like to be a car?
Sergipe.
16. A very crazy doctor invented a medicine that cures pain even before it appears.
What is the name of the movie?
Exterminate dor do future.
17. Do you know which word never tells the truth?
Only.
18. Do you know what the jockey does when it starts to rain?
Take the horse out of the rain.
19. What is the flying dog?
The hawk.
20. Do you know what the height of patience is?
There are several, but one of the best known is spending an entire day counting the steps on an escalator.
21. A man wanted to call the pharmacy, but ended up calling a shoe store by mistake.
- Corner Shoes. How can I help? - asked the attendant.
- Sorry, I got the number wrong.
- It doesn't matter that we exchanged.
22. Why don't capuchin monkeys go into the water?
Because he's afraid of the hammerhead shark.
23. Why are defenders the players who are most missed when they retire from football?
Because they are the ones who are most needed.
24. What monkey loves Argentinian music?
The orangutan.
25. How much is a therapist worth?
One therapist equals 1024 Gigapeutas.
26. How do you hear a bunch of jokes?
Just carry a bag of chicks on your back.
27. How to reduce hair loss by 50%?
Taking a bath crouched down.
28. The father asks the son if the car's hazard lights are working.
The son replies: yes-no-yes-no-yes-no...
29. What is green smell?
It's the Hulk fart.
30. What did the pot say to the popcorn?
- Me here burning and you jumping for joy!
31. A friend asks the other:
- Do you know the difference between a pot and a chamber pot?
- I don't know - the other replies.
- Do not know?! I will never eat at your house again!
32. The mother asks her son why he leaves the alarm clock under the bed.
- No need to worry, Mom. It's just that I like waking up at the last minute.
33. An elephant steps on a flea. The flea comes out from under the elephant's foot and says furiously:
- Would you like it if I did the same to you?
34. There is a new scientific theory that explains why fish eat a lot.
It's just that they live with water in their mouth.
35. What's the last thing one egg says to the other?
I'm shocked.
36. What is a little red dot jumping at the fair?
A pererê khaki.
37. - Doctor, I think I'm a dog. Is this serious?
- First of all, put your little leg down, stop peeing on the wall and tell me how it all started…
38. What did the flea say to the dog?
- Hey, taxi!
39. It's always good to be on time when we go to the movies, except when it's a comedy. Do you know why?
Because he who laughs last laughs best.
40. What is a foio?
A buiaco in the paiede.
41. What did the cow do in space?
Search for the vacuum.
42. What did one building say to the other?
- You have a beautiful walk!
43. What did the Mathematics book say to the History book?
Don't give me stories that I'm already full of problems.
44. Do you know what is the favorite animal of vampires?
Of course it's the giraffe!
45. What is the mechanic's joke?
The one full of grease.
